Marcus and sleeping

[pfloyd]

I think we may have created a situation with Marcus

The past couple of weeks have been rather strange when it comes to his sleeping habits. It may have started sometime around the point when we were giving him cold medicine (just Tylenol/pseudoehpedrine combination) to help him with his cold.
We'll give him his night bottle around 9pm, give or take a few minutes, having given him the cold medicine. He'll suck down the formula, and fight off sleep. He'll shift positions, etc, trying to get comfortable. Most often than not, it will take Colleen coming in and snuggling up with him and he'll nod out. We let him cook for 10-15 minutes, then move him to the crib. Most often than not, this will be between 10 and 11pm.
So, anywhere between (at least by my observations) 11pm and 4am, he will wake up at some point, and just start crying. I get up, and see if he has his pacifier in his mouth. If he doesn't I put it in and try to lay him down (since putting that in has acted like a switch in the recent past -- put it in and he'll collapse like a house of cards. If he does, well, there's a problem. I change him and bring him into the bed with us, where he'll nod out after a little while.
And he usually stays with us until morning.
Now, speaking as new parents, I do have to say that this is getting old.
The past couple of nights, we tried just straight Tylenol, since he's teething. Nope, still woke up, and in bed with us.
Last night, straight Tylenol again, but this time I had an idea. I cleared off the futon that's in his room (in couch mode... this is also the "family guest" bed), lay down on it and had him settle on my chest. He loves happing that way. He tossed a couple of times but soon fell into a relaxing nap. I had to get up for the loo after a while, so I put him in his crib, making sure he was still asleep. After a minute, he was up and crying again, so back in bed with us.

We're sort of at a loss as to what to do here. I'm approaching the point where I think that maybe a half-hit of Benadryl will help him right now. There's a slight chance he may become hyper with it though, but he hasn't exhibited that kind of behaviour with it before.
While we want him to be able to sleep all night in his crib, we also don't want him up all night crying his head off.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Anecdotes? Helpful stories?

(x-posted between my LJ and worcesterparent

Comments

[skyglider.livejournal.com]

Take any advice I offer with a grain of salt - I'm not a parent at this point in my life. I have to go with what I've learned from friends.

My friends have had the same problem breaking their kids out of the habit of sleeping with them. And listening to the baby cry for ages was heartbreaking for them. I remember one friend letting her son cry for 10 mins, then going in and rubbing his back, saying "go to sleep" or other soothing words, then leaving the room again. He wasn't picked up and taken out of the crib. That was repeated as many times as it took for him to fall asleep on his own. It was still hard, but the baby eventually learned that mom and dad were still there and that nothing bad was going to happen to him, and that he can fall asleep on his own. Using benadryl and other drugs will become habit forming, and it will take his system a few days to get used to falling asleep on his own again. (or at least i find that when i've used a drowsy-making drug to help me fall asleep sooner than i might have otherwise)

Found a few good sites. Maybe these will help:
http://www.extension.umn.edu/info-u/babies/BE355.html
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/refcap/123.html
http://www.parents.com/parents/story.jhtml;jsessionid=SM25GM4R2YVCLQFIBQNSCZQ?storyid=/templatedata/parents/story/data/3001.xml&catref=prt30
http://www.bluesuitmom.com/family/parenting/expert/criesatbedtime.html

Good luck. :)

[dauphinous.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm a hard-hearted bitch. In the middle of the night, I let 'em cry. I have been known to turn off the baby monitor and close the door. Between bedtime (6-7pm) and 4:30am, it is time for sleeping. End of discussion. Anytime after 4:30, I'll get up and do a feeding.
You really do have to let him develop the ability to fall asleep on his own. This isn't something every baby is wired with. It is a skill, and it sounds like Marcus hasn't put any points into it yet. And - babies are manipulative little things. They learn quickly what makes Mommy and Daddy do what they want. Although you cannot spoil a baby, you can teach them habits that lead to spoilage later on (I seem to recall reading that spoiling doesn't really start until 15 months or so).
It is important to remember that your behavior shapes theirs. If you are willing to go in and do something about his crying, then he will go ahead and cry, to get the attention. If you can't handle cutting him off cold turkey, you can fade your attention as suggested above, (rubbing his back, adjusting blankets, singing). I do strongly recommend that you stop picking him up at night as soon as possible.
It might help to have more steps in your bedtime routine. Aiyre has 6 steps in her bedtime routine that never change; he might just need better cueing to know that it is time to sleep for the night. A bath, reading a book, changing into pj's, doing some special goodnight game: all possibilities for a nightitime routine. And all kids crave routine.
Done lecturing now.

[ladyinareddress.livejournal.com]

I, too, must fall under the hard hearted bitch label. My kids were/are on schedules from the time they were a few weeks old and all have slept through the night starting at 6 weeks old. Babies and children are creatures of habit, they love routines-always knowing what comes next. Sounds to me like, for whatever reason, he's become accustomed to sleeping with you guys. Like most habits it will not be pretty, but it needs to broken, unless you are willing to sleep with him from here on out. I recommend breaking him from it earlier rather than later. At this point he won't remember crying some during the night, at 2 or 3 he'll remember being kicked out of his parents' bed. I would make sure he's not hungry, nor does he need a diaper and then let him cry. He'll figure it out pretty quickly. Good luck to you!!