Behind the Wall

I really have nothing to rant about today.
And that's a good thing.

Today started off like any other summer weekday. Colleen got up early and went for a walk while I slept in past 700am. Marcus started to stir after she got back, and I helped get him up and ready before grabbing a shower.
When I left around 800am, he was already dressed and they were doing the breakfast thing while the Wiggles were playing on the DVD.
I stopped at DD and got a Sobe Coolatta, and then stopped Hannaford's to grab a box of banana Twinkies. Yes, the original flavor is back. If you remember eating them before this past month, then you're older than you let on, because the last time they produced these was back during WWII, before shortages forced them to cut out the banana and go to the bland "vanilla" creme flavor we all adore. I gotta tell you, these are addictive. The other day, I was gagging for one after I had my lunch, and I forgot to pick up a pack during my typical morning stop for daily supplies. Now I'm set for a few days.

So while our illustrious Red Sox have dropped the last three to Seattle, I see that the Yankess have fumbled their last four, and are now two games behind Toronto... and Toronto's nine behind us. Plus, Boston is leading the entire American League... with the LA Angels a mere single game behind us. Let us not forget that we're just about halfway through the season here, with the All-Star break coming up. Anything can happen. Schilling could blow out his ankle again. The Yankees could come down with a major case of food poisoning. Tampa Bay could experience a miracle and actually win each and every game in the second half of the season and come out on top.
Yeah... and they'll make Twinkies taste like chicken-fried steak next. (Don't laugh... I've seen a place that makes and sells bacon-flavored ice cream.)


"The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability." — Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia, 1849


"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted." —Fred Allen

Mother Lion and Father Lion had gone off hunting, and had told their two children not to wander away. However, a couple of small wildebeests wandered by, and the baby lions could not resist the temptation to try out their own hunting skills. They ran out, chased after the animals, killed them, and started eating them.

Just as the baby lions were reaching the end of their meal, the parents appeared in the distance. One of the baby lions turned to the other, and said: "That is the end of the gnus. Here again are the head lions."

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

( The bank manager looks back at her and says... )